The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I currently don't understand fingers.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
