I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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