We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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