That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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