it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
