he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
