Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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