If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize