I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
