I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize