i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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