you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
