i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
