But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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