no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize