It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize