No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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