We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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