I looked at my own cervix.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
