That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
