Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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