I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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