I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
