Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hotel room ftw
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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