how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
