I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize