I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
that's an acceptable place to lick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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