I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
