I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
