I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
