so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
