a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
