You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
