You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
