How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize