Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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