When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
