I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
