it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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