i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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