Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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