I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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