So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
