Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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