Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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