is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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