Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
