a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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