so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
