I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
