walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
