He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
