ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
