i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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