Don't EVER smell your tampon
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
