she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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