I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
