He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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