Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
