Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
