she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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