True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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