good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
