Moan for me like Helen Keller
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
