Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
