i need an iv and a liver transplant
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
