Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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