Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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