so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
