Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
as a side note pls kill me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
